


Panic Attack

by Stahvie



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 23:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15326694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stahvie/pseuds/Stahvie
Summary: Based of a req to be comforted by Kylo during a panic attack





	Panic Attack

The all too familiar feeling of dread began to hit you in waves and you begged your brain not to do this. Not here. Not surrounded by your peers and superiors. You couldn’t stay there so you excused yourself as your body became taken over by the feeling of static and white noise.

As you made your way back to the safety of your quarters it felt like everyone’s eyes were on you. You tried to reassure yourself that everyone was more concerned with themselves, they probably didn’t even notice you, but your body was no longer responding to reason. You pressed onward, determined not to make a scene, to not be seen crying in public, and getting colder by the second.

By the time you made it back to the privacy of your room it felt as though all heat had escaped you, and you stood there, a shivering, wobbly mess with no idea what to do except cry. You were in pain, both mentally and physically, you felt like vomiting, and began to seriously consider going to the medbay. This must have been how people felt before they died of something really terrible.

It felt like an eternity had passed before your door buzzed open and the man who you shared a living space with walked up to you with a sympathetic smile.

“What happened?” Kylo asked while wrapping his arms around you from behind so you wouldn’t feel overwhelmed by his presence but still trying to give you some warmth.

You attempted to answer but the chittering of your teeth proved too difficult to overcome so you just shook your head. He was well aware by now that while sometimes these attacks could be triggered by something, usually they came from out of the blue, caused by nothing in particular. Kylo accepted your nonverbal answer and placed a soft kiss against your temple.

“Why don’t you try a hot shower to warm yourself up?” He spoke softly undoing your hair and letting it fall freely from its regulation bun.

“I guess…” You mumbled. Warm showers had always been pretty effective in that regard, but despite that, you always panicked that you wouldn’t be able to breathe through the steam. “If I’m not out in ten minutes, come and check up on me.”

“I will.”

“Just in case I pass out.”

“You won’t”

“But…”

“[Y/N], I promise you’ll be fine, and in the almost impossible chance that you’re not, I’ll know straight away. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Kylo reassured you calmly while running his fingers through your hair.

“This is pretty bad.” You said pushing away from him, looking back with a pathetic smile.

“It’ll pass.” He called after you as you made your way to the refresher.

Hot water fell over your body finally bringing back the warmth that had previously abandoned you. The steam that swirled around your head was far more breathable than your anxiety had told you it would be. Despite that, your mind still raced, but you took a moment to really appreciate how far Kylo had come in learning how to deal with your attacks.

The first time he’d seen you in this state he had no idea what he was doing. He’d throw facts at you, remind you that it was illogical, and tried too hard to find a cause when there was none. He’d meant well, thinking if you saw reason you’d feel better, but afterward you’d explained to him that it had only exacerbated things. Kylo had felt awful that he’d only made it worse, and since then he’d learnt to be more considerate of your feelings and to be gentler with you.

You didn’t want to leave the warm water, but it was only a temporary solution to just one symptom and you’d been in there for long enough. As soon as the water was off, the unwelcome chill washed through you again. You grabbed your towel and cursed past-[Y/N] for not having the foresight to bring a warm change of clothes into the refresher earlier.

Kylo had your back. You found your softest pyjamas draped over the couch closest to the refresher and quickly put them on as you noticed he was busying himself, setting something up over on the bed.

“What are you doing?” You asked curiously at what looked like a nest of blankets and a HoloTV resting on a desk by the end of the bed.

“I’ve got a plan. Come. Sit.” Kylo ushered you onto the middle of the bed.

“Kylo, this isn’t going to work. I’ve tried to distract myself by watching something but it never works.” You said solemnly. You appreciated the thought, even though you remembered telling him previously that it hadn’t worked, but the HoloTV just never managed to engage your mind enough to use it as a successful distraction.

“I remember, but this might work better.” He said, remaining vague as he began to drape blankets over your shaking body. He reached under the blankets to place something in your hidden hands and landed a kiss against your forehead. Kylo did something to the HoloTV and it loaded up a menu.

Kylo excused himself from the room and you took the opportunity to figure out what he’d given you. It was a controller. You traced your thumbs over the buttons and pressed one. The menu disappeared and a little man on a tauntaun took its place. A short scene played out and soon you found you were able to move the character, finding the controls to be pretty intuitive.

“It’s a remake of a game I played as a kid.” Kylo said as he remerged with a mug that billowed with steam. He carefully climbed onto the bed and wedged himself between you and the headboard. An arm stretched out in front of you offering the beverage for your consumption.

“Thanks… but… my hands…” You said pushing them against the blankets, the controller still clutched between your fingers.

“I’ve got you covered.” He said as his other arm reached around to meet the mug and plopped a silicon straw into the liquid. “Probably still a bit hot though.”

Kylo took a small sip and you could tell from the noise he made behind you that it was indeed too hot. He leant over and abandoned the mug on one of the bedside tables.

“Is it okay if I try something?” He asked rubbing his hands in circles on your back.

You looked back nervously but nodded knowing he wouldn’t do anything if he thought there was a chance of making your attack any worse.

“Just try to relax.” He said as he pulled you closer so that you leant against him. Seeing his reflection in a nearby mirror, you saw that his eyes were closed. He seemed to be concentrating very hard. You let your eyes fall closed just in case it helped. Nothing changed, but you still enjoyed the way his hands were tenderly stroking though your hair again. “Any change?”

“No… sorry.” You replied timidly after a moment. “What was that supposed to be?”

“I’ve just… I’ve been looking into ways I can help you… with the force. Not quite ready I guess.” He said, a little embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to succeed on his first attempt.

You blushed at the gesture, rested your head against his shoulder, and rolled your face toward his so you could plant a kiss at his jaw. Your focus fell back onto the game Kylo had set up for you. It was actually a pretty good distraction. You felt lucky to have someone who was so willing to drop what they were doing just to make sure you were okay. You weren’t okay yet, but thanks to Kylo, you knew you would be.


End file.
